Pink Ink, Black Thoughts

mood: beguiled

locale: antique bed in new home

song: spiderman/sweethomealabama


a series of pretentious thoughts streaming live today.

new songs and collective poetry. i hate that this unreliability as a person and author to hopelessly never finish what i try to start.

i have so many thoughts and ideas, i can't seem to keep them straight long enough to write them down. i write some, take it down some, then completely lose focus and have to start on something different because a new thought struck gold down in the fathoms of my subconscious to spring a new source of musings into the present moment.

1.
i can only tell the truth by telling you a lie
stand there, watch you stare at me
first i tell you one--now its gone to three
it's a sequence of events that only you can call mine
new days but no more hope has come to life
these days it'd be best just close my eyes
take another second, hear it right there
breathe it in... the fresh new air
because its only in the moment now that i will
--feel this sane to say what i feel
just take my heart and rip it into pieces
its not worth the pain like it was before
so take this trampled being
nail it to your door
don't come calling, i won't answer
anymore

completely unaware of the hazard signs to date
roses have their thorns
but i still watch the gate
hoping to see that old familiar face
cheating the moment
beating the thief like heaven still has grace

2.
You love me and tell me not.
avoiding me is the only way you can protect my heart.
Your eyes tell our whole story, the fire behind the passion
the hidden attraction
Contact forgotten, only dreams; memories; and blue eyes that still hold my destiny
*Just two starcrossed lovers forced to play the part.

3.
what is time but the mere turn of a calendar page..
it lies and binds


4.
to the world i admit my selfishness, but to you, i lie in honesty. just to feel your love, and escape your wrath.
--i wrote that when i was about 12 years old.
i still come back to it. it's like my totem.

i found the two journals i had stashed away. one for future plans. one for thought of the moment. pink ink. black ink.
pink for hope springing new. black for past. black for concrete future.
pink for hope that will fail.
pink for revelation.
black for reality.
black for the casual reminder of what naturally happens.
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