mood: happy

locale: couch

song: television

the days continue to roll by. the man in question has left several times.. he's been all over for business.. i've been left alone to my own devices.. which means that ive been a little wild this week. But. Forgivess is great.

His qualities are expressed so flawlessly.. but i fear that we are too distant. He never talks to me the way he used to. He's my completed half, when i see him, the other side of my chest swells. I don't mean to love him yet, not in the slightest, but its hard to see him and watch him grow as a person and see how fantastically wonderful he is without that slight tug on the heart strings that make a girl go mad. In all sincerity, i had hoped we would have a future together. Maybe it was me trying to force God's hand into. Maybe i am supposed to wait a little bit longer. He's not just another boy. He's not just another man. He's who i found worthy to spend my life with, but if God isn't in it, then i don't need to even pursue it.. it just makes me wonder when at those quiet times, i find him in the back of my mind.. when the speaker says something, he's the first thing to pop into my mind. i can't help but wonder, i'm sure you would as well...

oh well. Life is life, and thank the Lord i am not in control. or i would have created chaos long before now.

Peace.

i hate monotonous pain colors.. for real. the whole color scheme in blues is just retarded. seriously.

i love you all. aduio benidos carveszaz. (: